Content Warning: This post discusses suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, and sexual abuse and trauma My body, this body, how many times she’s nearly not made it. 2006, a bizarre ear infection. The bacteria traveled to my mastoid, a honeycombed bone in the back of my head. The air pockets in the bone filled with strep.Continue reading “She is Bamboo”
Tag Archives: healing
Sometimes, Deprivation is a Choice
NOTE: My entries are published non-linearly, offered to the world based only on courage. Today’s entry was originally penned on September 8th. Here, I’m ready to share. * Let me tell you, I’m amazed with my body. I can’t tell you if I’ve ever, across my sixty years, simply witnessed her miraculousness. After each babyContinue reading “Sometimes, Deprivation is a Choice”
In Gathering Grapes and Grief
I fell apart yesterday. Along with the body, this body, my body, pulling herself together, my heart cracked and crumpled. A break-up. My choice. My clarity for life moving forward. Clarity to know who and what I will allow access to me based on love, kindness, compassion. My choice—not rash nor emotional—but a series ofContinue reading “In Gathering Grapes and Grief”
With Deep Gratitude for Toast and Stents
Yesterday I pulled my stent out. The surgeon instructed this post-op, though I barely remember her guidance. Blood. Warm bath. Meds. Pain. The day before, I bled-peed all day. This too, expected. Still, when you witness your body pouring blood through an orifice that should not bleed. Yesterday I prepped stent-pulling with a strong doseContinue reading “With Deep Gratitude for Toast and Stents”
We Need More Kintsugi
I taught a kintsugi art class in 2024. It went less than well, mainly because I nearly caught a few participants’ eyelashes on fire. I’ll come back to my fire-hazard moment. Let me back up: I’m not a kintsugi expert and this was my first and only kintsugi workshop. For me, kintsugi began as aContinue reading “We Need More Kintsugi”
A Night Well Spent
Say I told you that I spent a good, no, a great, part of my life in numbness training. Men thought me emotionally stable because I wanted nothing, asked for nothing, accepted even less. Women thought me a threat because men thought me well. I was never well. Say I told you that in myContinue reading “A Night Well Spent”
Un-Shiva-ing
My brother phoned me on June 13th, 2025. I was driving my oldest son to his weekly PT. I probably wore leggings and a soft tee. Maybe a loose sundress. I should tell you, my brother rarely calls. When I say “rarely,” I mean, like once or twice a year. I should also tell youContinue reading “Un-Shiva-ing”
In Matters of the Heart
On April 14th this year, my oldest son, Zach, underwent his 40th procedure. He’s 24. You might’ve kept up with this event through my social media posts. You might’ve thought me worried. You also might’ve believed me strong. Let’s not be fooled. If you asked me, How are you? those two months leading up toContinue reading “In Matters of the Heart”
Seeds
The small, slow steps work. Every time. This is true of difficult decisions. True of preparing a gorgeous meal. True of creating beautiful art. The fastest track might yield “results,” but rarely offers a deep sense of fulfillment. For the last three years, I’ve suffered a variety of medical malfunctions. Maybe I’ve suffered this wayContinue reading “Seeds”
An Invitation to Keep Your Course
Today, there’s a swearing-in. Yesterday, three hostages were released. The day before, TikTok “went dark.” Last week, Zuckerberg decided to eliminate fact-checkers on Meta, citing a “cultural tipping point.” Last year, Musk created a reel using AI, putting words in Harris’ mouth, and called it a Parody. In the days of yonder, we called thisContinue reading “An Invitation to Keep Your Course”
