Content Warning: This post discusses suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, and sexual abuse and trauma My body, this body, how many times she’s nearly not made it. 2006, a bizarre ear infection. The bacteria traveled to my mastoid, a honeycombed bone in the back of my head. The air pockets in the bone filled with strep.Continue reading “She is Bamboo”
Tag Archives: Thoughts
Sometimes, Deprivation is a Choice
NOTE: My entries are published non-linearly, offered to the world based only on courage. Today’s entry was originally penned on September 8th. Here, I’m ready to share. * Let me tell you, I’m amazed with my body. I can’t tell you if I’ve ever, across my sixty years, simply witnessed her miraculousness. After each babyContinue reading “Sometimes, Deprivation is a Choice”
In Gathering Grapes and Grief
I fell apart yesterday. Along with the body, this body, my body, pulling herself together, my heart cracked and crumpled. A break-up. My choice. My clarity for life moving forward. Clarity to know who and what I will allow access to me based on love, kindness, compassion. My choice—not rash nor emotional—but a series ofContinue reading “In Gathering Grapes and Grief”
With Deep Gratitude for Toast and Stents
Yesterday I pulled my stent out. The surgeon instructed this post-op, though I barely remember her guidance. Blood. Warm bath. Meds. Pain. The day before, I bled-peed all day. This too, expected. Still, when you witness your body pouring blood through an orifice that should not bleed. Yesterday I prepped stent-pulling with a strong doseContinue reading “With Deep Gratitude for Toast and Stents”
Noticings
Noticings, This is my new substack newsletter. While I’ve loved my little Ramblings blog here, I haven’t visited often enough. It has felt, well, neglect-full at best. My website is still running all the things: upcoming events, new projects, and freshly published art and programs. Noticings will hold a theme: the little things I noticeContinue reading “Noticings”
Fast Publication?
Are writers who take years to publish better writers than those who publish frequently? I’m asking for myself because I hear this fairly often. Because I hear this often, I assume the statement is targeted at me. I might be the target because over the last four years, I’ve published four books. (Thank you, MoonContinue reading “Fast Publication?”
We Need More Kintsugi
I taught a kintsugi art class in 2024. It went less than well, mainly because I nearly caught a few participants’ eyelashes on fire. I’ll come back to my fire-hazard moment. Let me back up: I’m not a kintsugi expert and this was my first and only kintsugi workshop. For me, kintsugi began as aContinue reading “We Need More Kintsugi”
How to Shave a Zach
I shave my son, Zach. Let me back up. I’m a single mom with three sons. I’ve taught them all the things, like turning off toilet water in an emergency, the care and upkeep of wool sweaters, and how to pee standing up (which involved aiming for Fruit Loops). Of the three, Zach’s the oldest.Continue reading “How to Shave a Zach”
In Matters of the Heart
On April 14th this year, my oldest son, Zach, underwent his 40th procedure. He’s 24. You might’ve kept up with this event through my social media posts. You might’ve thought me worried. You also might’ve believed me strong. Let’s not be fooled. If you asked me, How are you? those two months leading up toContinue reading “In Matters of the Heart”
Seeds
The small, slow steps work. Every time. This is true of difficult decisions. True of preparing a gorgeous meal. True of creating beautiful art. The fastest track might yield “results,” but rarely offers a deep sense of fulfillment. For the last three years, I’ve suffered a variety of medical malfunctions. Maybe I’ve suffered this wayContinue reading “Seeds”
