Not belonging. What is this feeling, really? Social houselessness. Rejection. Invisibility. Masking in order to function. Chronic isolation. When I feel this way—unbelonging—I want inclusion. When I want inclusion, I often say something, a sort of signal to others, with hopes that they’ll add me in: I wish I would’ve known, I would’ve joined you…Continue reading “Where We Can Meet”
Tag Archives: women
Tending the Flame
My sacred fire. I thought this depleted. The last months feel a test, a reckoning, a renewal. My body rupturing—one infected stone turned an intricate system upside down. How delicate every cell. How reliant one upon the other. I’ve thought my body depleted before. Other illness, self-destruction, a war, a death. Even the beauty ofContinue reading “Tending the Flame”
In the Business of Softness and Truth
Journal Entry from 16 Sep 2026 It softly rains as I softly write. My pen, often pushed across the page with holy rage. My pen, my exit wound for body stories. Can you pour away all that burned you, all that nearly buried you through art? I’m in the business because I believe you can.Continue reading “In the Business of Softness and Truth”
I Come from Soil, Grit, and River
NOTE: I originally journaled this longhand on Sept. 2, 2026, a week out of ICU and a day after my second kidney surgery. Yesterday, part of the infected kidney stone was removed and a new stent placed. I am placed in charge of removing the stent on my own on Sunday. I already feel betterContinue reading “I Come from Soil, Grit, and River”
She is Bamboo
Content Warning: This post discusses suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, and sexual abuse and trauma My body, this body, how many times she’s nearly not made it. 2006, a bizarre ear infection. The bacteria traveled to my mastoid, a honeycombed bone in the back of my head. The air pockets in the bone filled with strep.Continue reading “She is Bamboo”
Sometimes, Deprivation is a Choice
NOTE: My entries are published non-linearly, offered to the world based only on courage. Today’s entry was originally penned on September 8th. Here, I’m ready to share. * Let me tell you, I’m amazed with my body. I can’t tell you if I’ve ever, across my sixty years, simply witnessed her miraculousness. After each babyContinue reading “Sometimes, Deprivation is a Choice”
In Gathering Grapes and Grief
I fell apart yesterday. Along with the body, this body, my body, pulling herself together, my heart cracked and crumpled. A break-up. My choice. My clarity for life moving forward. Clarity to know who and what I will allow access to me based on love, kindness, compassion. My choice—not rash nor emotional—but a series ofContinue reading “In Gathering Grapes and Grief”
We Need More Kintsugi
I taught a kintsugi art class in 2024. It went less than well, mainly because I nearly caught a few participants’ eyelashes on fire. I’ll come back to my fire-hazard moment. Let me back up: I’m not a kintsugi expert and this was my first and only kintsugi workshop. For me, kintsugi began as aContinue reading “We Need More Kintsugi”
How to Shave a Zach
I shave my son, Zach. Let me back up. I’m a single mom with three sons. I’ve taught them all the things, like turning off toilet water in an emergency, the care and upkeep of wool sweaters, and how to pee standing up (which involved aiming for Fruit Loops). Of the three, Zach’s the oldest.Continue reading “How to Shave a Zach”
A Night Well Spent
Say I told you that I spent a good, no, a great, part of my life in numbness training. Men thought me emotionally stable because I wanted nothing, asked for nothing, accepted even less. Women thought me a threat because men thought me well. I was never well. Say I told you that in myContinue reading “A Night Well Spent”
