Me. One year prior to fleeing my home, three sons in tow, one duffel stuffed with medical supplies and a handful of diapers.
Me. Looking un-terrified, flexing, posing.
Me. Living in duplicity.
This image is not about body-beauty or suface-pretty. This was an outside-way-of-life. This was me. Pretending. Me. Acting as if everything was fine. Me. Donning a game-face. Me. Keeping myself together at all costs.
Me. Then.
Me. No more.
Thank you to Hags on Firefor publishing this photo-essay.
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Published by Rebecca Evans: Poet. Essayist. Artist. Warrior.
Rebecca Evans writes the difficult, the heart-full, the guidebooks for survivors. She’s a memoirist, essayist, artist, and poet, infusing her love of empowerment with craft. She teaches high school teens in the Juvie system through journaling, empowerment and visual art. Rebecca is also a military veteran, an avid gardener, and shares space with four Newfoundlands and her sons. She specializes in craft and explorative workshops for those who seek to dive deeper. She co-hosts Radio Boise’s Writer to Writer show on Stray Theater.
She's earned two MFAs, one in creative nonfiction, the other in poetry, University of Nevada, Reno at Lake Tahoe. Her poems and essays have appeared in Narratively, The Rumpus, Hypertext Magazine, War, Literature & the Arts, The Limberlost Review, and more.
Her books include When There are Nine (an anthology tributed to the life and achievements of Ruth Bader Ginsburg), Tangled in Blood (a memoir-in-verse), Safe Handling (a collection-length poem), and AfterBurn (a flash essay collection, forthcoming in 2026, Moon Tide Press).
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